For the last few weeks, on Rt 14 between Dean St. and Centegra, and on 47 between Lake Ave. and Lucas Rd., a curious phenomenon has occurred. Radio listeners flipping through the dials have suddenly found themselves flung back to the ‘90s, their speakers blaring tracks with the same techno beats and hard-dancing rhythm as “Pump Up The Jam” or the “Mortal Kombat” theme – and after a few minutes of driving, the broadcast cuts out as abruptly as it came in. No commercials are played, except for a brief clip of the “McLovin” scene from “Superbad,” and no broadcasters can be heard except for a text-to-speech voice announcing “103.3 FM – Radio Woodstock.”
Somewhere in town – likely the subdivision just north of Creekside Middle School – someone has put home broadcasting gear, underground “Hard House” music, and total disregard for FCC regulations together to give Woodstock its very own “Pirate Radio” station… no matter who likes it or not.
Pirate radio has a long history in the United States, going all the way back to the first laws written for radio in the 1910s. Unlicensed home broadcast used to be the only kind there was, and early enthusiasts bore a shocking resemblance to today’s internet trolls (“merry pranks” ranged from overloading each other’s gear with high-power signals, to sending fake SOS messages to the Navy). Not all of them cared to pay attention to the Radio Act of 1912, or to any other regulation between then and the modern day Federal Communications Commission – as one 1910 Boston amateur famously put it, “.– …. — . …- . .-. …. . .- .-. -.. — ..-. – …. . -. .- …- -.– .- -. -.– .– .- -.–” (“Who ever heard of the Navy, anyway?”)
But as Jack Epperson, Chief Engineer for Star 105.5 and 103.9 The Fox at MCC described, the FCC has solid reasons for its “fun police” attitude. “[Pirate broadcasters] are doing something that’s illegal, and they think it’s harmless, but it’s not,” Epperson said. “People put time, money, and investment into the radio spectrum, and you need a claim on it. If someone comes along and just starts using it, then you’re interfering with other people’s ability to do business” – the analogy, he said, was like renting an apartment and then seeing someone show up to use your closet for free.
Jim Stockwell, head of MCC’s Student Radio, agreed with Epperson’s view. “In your FM area, you’ve only got a certain amount of spaces,” Stockwell said, “so if you aren’t paying the FCC then you’re stealing that spot. You’re either piggybacking on another station or you’re making sure that somebody else can’t get it, and it’s a whole mess.” In addition, since no FCC license means no ASCAP or BMI license, radio and music piracy could only get along better if they were downing rum together in a Nassau tavern – although it’s not certain how much of “Radio Woodstock’s” House music, a thoroughly indie invention of Chicago’s underground party scene in the ‘80s, even has a record label to complain about its misuse.
Epperson, who has worked for Woodstock’s licensed stations for the last three years, said that he started his career in one of the most out-of-control places for radio in the United States. “I’m from South Florida,” Epperson said, “and South Florida is in the top three pirate areas [after New York and San Francisco].”
The Miami-area melting pot is renowned for drawing in some of the most laid-back people from all over North America, leading to the famous “Florida Man” effect, where stories of bizarre personal behavior seem to make headlines in the state every few days. As Epperson put it, not everybody in South Florida “respects the spectrum,” and whether it’s Cuban communities making pirate Salsa broadcasts, Jamaicans with Reggae, or Yankee “snowbirds” and Heavy Metal, the FCC is “forever playing whack-a-mole with finding them and shutting them down.”
But for all the fun (or frustration) of Florida’s wild-west airwaves, there’s a more serious side to the broadcasting free-for-all. South Florida might not be anything like its “Scarface” days in the ‘80s, but the drug trade there is still hot and heavy, and Epperson said that plenty of its unlicensed stations will run “commercials” for the “local pharmacy.” This led one Florida sheriff to use stations in his jurisdiction as “SWAT practice” – although neither radio ads for narcotics nor pirate-hunting SWAT teams are likely to be seen outside the Sunshine State, much less in Northern Illinois.
Instead, “Radio Woodstock’s” only notorious act was probably the broadcast of the “Chipmunk Song” as part of a month of Christmas music in December, along with Weird Al’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy” and the audio of the “Mall Santa” scene from 1983’s “A Christmas Story.” But the radio dial is a crowded place, and when it comes to keeping slots open for new stations or preventing interference to paying customers, the FCC will treat you like Marshall Mathers: it will not let you be. In the meantime, for however long it lasts, South Woodstock residents who’ve waited since 1999 to party like it’s 1999 will have at least one part of the dial to tune to.
Willcockson Wordsmithing 